Getting rid of the fear

Wanna know what? I started writing this blog, on and off, two years ago. And I never shared it with anyone until now. Why? I’m still not sure. Probably a combination of fear (what if it sucks?) and reality. A little too much reality, really.

In time since I started secretly writing here, I lost my grandma, the source of so much of my cooking and pickling knowledge. Then my dad was diagnosed with leukemia, so we fixed up our house in Vermont, sold it, said goodbye to a place and people I loved with all my heart, and moved back home with my mom for a few weeks before our apartment was ready. We spent last summer looking for a house, helping to care for my dad, buying a house, and fixing it up – building gardens, stripping wallpaper, rebuilding the sagging garage. Then my dad died, and nothing seemed like a good idea for so long afterwards. Who the hell has the energy and heart to write about a goddamn bunch of kale through that? Not this girl.

But now I’m ready. I have so many things to share, discuss, and laugh about. I’ve talked incessantly about pickles, planting things, and new food ideas with so many friends and strangers for so long. I’ve written about art, food, and farms for magazines for 10 years, but have rarely written for myself. It’s time.

As my dad would’ve said, “Shit or get off the pot.” I’m choosing to shit, which may be a fitting adjective for this blog, but at least I’m not afraid to go for it anymore. So you’ll see a bunch of posts dated from a long time ago, and then you’ll see some newer things that have been in my head for years now and are ready to come out. Thanks for humoring me 🙂


  1. Lou
    November 20, 2013


  2. Deanna
    November 22, 2013

    I am happy you’re no longer in fear 🙂


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